Friday, October 8, 2004

Hurricane Humor II

 How to tell if you are a Floridian

> You might be a Floridian if:
>
> You exhibit a slight twitch when introduced to anyone with the first
> names of Charley, Frances or Ivan
>
> Your freezer never has more than $20 worth of food in it at any given
> time
>
> You're looking at paint swatches for the plywood on your windows, to
> accent the house color
>
> You think of your hall closet/saferoom as "cozy"
>
> Your pool is more accurately described as "framed in" than "screened in"
>
> Your freezer in the garage now only has homemade ice in it
>
> You no longer worry about relatives visiting during the summer months
>
> You too haven't heard back from the insurance adjuster
>
> You now understand what that little "2% hurricane deductible" phrase
> really means
>
> You're putting a collage together on your driveway of roof shingles from
> your neighborhood
>
> You were once proud of your 16" electric chain saw
>
> Your street has more than 3 " NO WAKE" signs posted
>
> You now own 5 large ice chests
>
> Your parrot can now say" hammered, pounded and hunker down"
>
> You recognize people in line at the free ice, gas and plywood locations
>
> You stop what you're doing and clap and wave when you see a convoy of
> power company trucks come down your street
>
> You're depressed when they don't stop
>
> You have the personal cell phone numbers of the managers for: plywood,
> roofing supplies and generators at Home Depot on your speed dialer
>
> You've spent more than $20 on "Tall white kitchen bags" to make your own
> sand bags
>
> You're considering upgrading your 16" to a 20" chainsaw
>
> You know what "Bar chain oil" is
>
> You're thinking of getting your wife the hardhat with the ear protector,
> face shield for Christmas
>
> You now think the $6000 whole house generator seems reasonable
>
> You look forward to discussions about the merits of "cubed, block and dry
> ice"
>
> Your therapist refers to your condition as "generator envy"
>
> You fight the urge to put on your winter coat and wool cap and parade
> around in front of your picture window, when you finally get power and
> your neighbor across the street, with the noisy generator doesn't get electric
>
> You're thinking of shaving your head and getting a black Gor-Tex rain
> suit, like Jim Cantore has and so is your husband
>
> And finally you might be a Floridian if
>
> You ask your sister up north to start saving the Sunday Real Estate
> classifieds

1 comment:

shellys555 said...

Some of these are really funny. Sad, but funny.